A lot of talk has been going on for the past couple of years about allowing members of the LGBTQ community to marry or take part in civil marriage/partnership. People all over the world are fighting for this ‘right’ to marry their partners and become equal to their straight counterparts. Sounds like a simple concepts right? So what’s my deal with gay marriage anyways?
The concept and context of ‘marriage’ revolves around a religious aspect. In the bible for example, one of the main definitions of marriage is: “Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.” Christianity, Islam, and most religions / religious institutions have never accepted homosexuality within their framework and make it a point to attack it at every chance they get.
Another problem with gay marriage is the same problem I have with many aspects of what members of the LGBTQ community want to fight for (ex: the right to serve in the military, but that’s a different story). Why does the fight for all of these rights seem to revolve around the idea of becoming part of a melting pot? We should start viewing ourselves as a ‘salad bowl’ (where everything is added and mixed) rather than the melting pot where everyone should be integrated into the ‘standard’ version of society. We do not need to become a part of a hetero-normative tradition in order to be accepted into society. The idea of trying to fit our puzzle piece within the larger puzzle board does not make sense to me. Why do the sacrifices of ideologies, lifestyles, and individuality always need to be oppressed, smothered, and twisted by 'minorities' until it fits the view that the 'majority' would like to see from us?
Honestly? I do not need nor want to sign a paper to prove to the world that I love someone. I do not need nor want the benefits like being considered family, joint bank accounts, and having my children approved as part of my family because these are concepts and priviliges that WE should define or control for ourselves not the man or woman sitting in their government offices. I do not need nor want the approval on that piece of paper to be justified in being with my partner. Marriage is just another way for organizing, labelling, and controlling the general population. This constant need to be accepted by the heter-onormative population should be tackled at the root. The queer community does differ from the straight community and we should learn to stop trying so hard to integrate ourselves in order to be considered a government approved commodity. so explain to me, why do we really need gay marriage again?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
So, What’s My Deal With LGBTQ Marriage?
Friday, March 12, 2010
Keep Down The Daji, You Never Know Who You Might Scare
‘We are LGBTQ therefore our already unwanted self cannot challenge or be radical in our society’. This is an idea that I have noticed seems to be prevalent and spreading in the LGBTQ community. The issue is no longer about standing out, making a difference, or rejecting the hetero-normative community; it is now an issue of being accepted, blending in, and making as little ‘Daji’ (noise) as possible. I blame this on fear and unknowingly shoving ourselves back into the closet. Where has the radicalism packed up and gone to?
Why is it that we (the LGBTQ community) try so hard to be accepted in society? Why don’t we organize radical workshops more often (from the simplest: singing in our underwear at a party, to organizing mass movements in support for every type of human rights)? In Lebanon, there is the issue of ‘prestige’, oppression, and fear; but each and every one of us is essential to creating a mass movement in order to help those who come after us in joining political movements and ideologies. Everything is intertwined in politics and political theories/ideologies and therefore we as queers cannot ignore that fact and pretend as if it is not an essential part or our day to day lives. Honestly? Fuck Gay Marriage. Fuck repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Fuck every queer who wants to fight in battle or serve any institute that is linked to some sort of control or oppression. Why fight for a supposed right that is part of institutions that go against everything that you stand for? Grow some balls LGBTQ community and fight for justice and human rights, not for useless pieces of paper that allow you to become half a part of the hetero-normative masses. You’ll never be wanted there anyways.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Relationships. What Gives?
It’s funny how after all the soul searching, character finding experiences we can have in one lifetime, there is always one thing that we constantly search for: someone to fall in love with who will love us back. We spend our lives searching for that one person who will “make us complete”. That’s right people, I’m taking on relationships.
Whether you are part of the LGBTQ community or straight as a pole, we (as humans) tend to have this need to be in a relationship. Even the most independent of individuals have those moments where they wake up in the morning, are alone in the car, or had some sort of experience where they think to themselves: ‘I wish I had someone who I could share this with’ (and we aren’t talking friends here). This dependency is something that can be considered a nature and nurture issue. Biologically, we are born to mate/survive (plus, we are all a bunch of horny motherfuckers) and therefore we want that someone so that we can experience life with. Socially, we are brought up to believe that we are worth nothing if we don’t fall in to the norm of having a partner.
Members of the LGBTQ community are constantly drawn into this hetero-normative social structure in which they should settle down with one partner and try to fit the gender binary that would apply to the 1950’s ‘straight heterosexual happily married couple with 3-4 kids and a dog’. Truth be told, we are all guilt of wanting to somehow fit into a state of ‘normality’ within society. We all want to be happy and we (deep deep down – yes even you liberated ones) all have a passing thought every couple of days that being in a relationship will somehow help us reach content. This dependency has to stop. We should encourage people to be happy whether they are single or taken. One’s relationship status does not and should not define their self worth. Let us all try to look at our lives through a new sort of looking glass, the kind that does not place such a pressure on others simply because of their relationship status. And who said relationships were that great anyways?
Exploitation of the LGBTQ Community
Exploitation is an easy weapon used by many corporations, fraternities, societies, governments, and institutions to control the masses. If I were to use Lebanon as an example I could say that the tool of exploitation was running rampant around the country. The corporate virus has reached social level and has hit epidemic status. Let’s zoom in a little closer shall we?
Let’s examine the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer) community for a second. In Lebanon, people within the LGBTQ community are not accepted into society. Seeing as society in general tends to be exclusively ‘hetero-normative’ then we must keep in mind that in a country like Lebanon, there are very few places that people in this community can publicly (and privately, but that’s a story for another time) hang out. These are the places that I have a specific problem with. These so called ‘gay-friendly’ places that exist in our society add to a segregation, abuse, and myth/misconception within/of/and about the gay community.
These four ideas can be interlinked with one simple word: money. Due to the fact that ‘gay-friendly’ places in Lebanon are the main locations for LGBTQ members to frequent, these ‘corporations’ (if I may be so bold) take advantage of this fact and use it to overcharge their loyal customers. Almost all of these pubs/restaurants/clubs have doubled their prices in comparison to normal places. This is a direct abuse of their customers and to people within this community. Also, this creates segregation and reiterates a common myth/ misconception about the LGBTQ community: WE ARE NOT ALL RICH. Although individuals in the gay community do not have (the option) to raise children, or marry this does not mean that we can all afford the absurd prices (because we are not paying for that extra hetero-normative dream) that these places expect us to pay just for allowing us to have a seat in their ‘humble’ abode. This also creates a huge split in the LGBTQ community between the middle/upper class and the lower class. Instead of targeting the community as a whole and giving the majority the option to have this so called ‘privilege’, they leave this option only for the tiny window of upper class citizens.
This dependency that we all have towards these ‘gay-friendly’ places has to stop. Just because a place markets themselves as ‘tolerant’, ‘accepting’, and ‘friendly’, doesn’t mean they actually are. We have to realize that we, as a community, are being exploited and abused for our money. Places like ‘Life Bar’ (for example) have a clear history of discriminating against members of the LGBTQ community and also charge absurd prices for the cheapest of drinks. Are we really ready to allow a place market themselves on our behalf and then rip us off while they are at it? Im not. Let the revolution begin now.
