A lot of talk has been going on for the past couple of years about allowing members of the LGBTQ community to marry or take part in civil marriage/partnership. People all over the world are fighting for this ‘right’ to marry their partners and become equal to their straight counterparts. Sounds like a simple concepts right? So what’s my deal with gay marriage anyways?
The concept and context of ‘marriage’ revolves around a religious aspect. In the bible for example, one of the main definitions of marriage is: “Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.” Christianity, Islam, and most religions / religious institutions have never accepted homosexuality within their framework and make it a point to attack it at every chance they get.
Another problem with gay marriage is the same problem I have with many aspects of what members of the LGBTQ community want to fight for (ex: the right to serve in the military, but that’s a different story). Why does the fight for all of these rights seem to revolve around the idea of becoming part of a melting pot? We should start viewing ourselves as a ‘salad bowl’ (where everything is added and mixed) rather than the melting pot where everyone should be integrated into the ‘standard’ version of society. We do not need to become a part of a hetero-normative tradition in order to be accepted into society. The idea of trying to fit our puzzle piece within the larger puzzle board does not make sense to me. Why do the sacrifices of ideologies, lifestyles, and individuality always need to be oppressed, smothered, and twisted by 'minorities' until it fits the view that the 'majority' would like to see from us?
Honestly? I do not need nor want to sign a paper to prove to the world that I love someone. I do not need nor want the benefits like being considered family, joint bank accounts, and having my children approved as part of my family because these are concepts and priviliges that WE should define or control for ourselves not the man or woman sitting in their government offices. I do not need nor want the approval on that piece of paper to be justified in being with my partner. Marriage is just another way for organizing, labelling, and controlling the general population. This constant need to be accepted by the heter-onormative population should be tackled at the root. The queer community does differ from the straight community and we should learn to stop trying so hard to integrate ourselves in order to be considered a government approved commodity. so explain to me, why do we really need gay marriage again?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
So, What’s My Deal With LGBTQ Marriage?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
I have several points of debate on this issue, though I'm excited to here these thoughts come out and be up for discussion in the LGBTIQ community here in Lebanon, =D
1- The Government shouldnt control or organize the people, we should organize ourselves.
I dont know whether I can really see that ever happening, its very idealistic. Imagine the chaos if the people were responsible for organizing themselves and there was no body to enforce the laws that keep society running. I don't think there's anything wrong with organization as long as human rights aren't being violated in the process. The fact of the matter is that we no longer live in villages, but in highly dense cities, and we don't interfere with each other's personal lives. If I commit myself to one person (though the issue of heternormative monogomy is a huge issue for me, but it all comes down to a personal choice in the end, so go with it), and I want this person to inherit my money when I die and to be able to make life or death or other medical decisions on my behalf instead of my parents in case of a medical emergency, how will the hospital know whether this is the person I chose to do these things or not? How will the government know whether my money should go to this person or to my immediate family? Surely, if the hospital or government asks my family about the truth of the matter, they will say 'No, we don't know this person, this is our son, we have the right to make the medical decisions and give the inheritance to the immediate family', and surely this person I've committed to will say 'I was chosen by him to take on these responsibilities.' The reply of medical and governmental officials will be...'prove it?' but there is absolutely no proof. Organization is necessary for running society and managing people's affairs, otherwise we will succumb into absolute chaos. It's my opinion that we don't need to destroy all of the infrastructure we have and start again, but remove the rotten parts and fix it.
These are the benefits of a civil union that I would find necessary, though I dont correlate it with marriage at all. Maybe I want my best friend to be unified with me civilly so that he/she can take these decisions for me? It doesn't mean that I want to live with him/her, raise children, or become monogomous, it means that I have the privelage to choose a person (or hopefully more) to take on certain decisions that I'd rather not be made by my family, as the current system is.
2- Marriage revolves around a religious aspect
Marriage is a religious institution, but I think it revolves around a secular social aspect, maybe with its roots in religion, but it has now dissociated from religion. As a social aspect, everyone should have the choice to get married or not, which brings me to the third and final point...
3- Why are we fitting ourselves into the heternormative society?
I agree completely, I would've want to get married, and thats my personal choice. But if the heterosexual community has a choice to get married, why should the homosexual community be denied that choice, isnt that a form of discrimination? And as an activist that fights homophobia and discrimination, wouldn't I want to eliminate the discrimination that exists? There are two solutions, fighting for same-sex marrital rights, or disbanding marriage altogether so that its not an issue for either heterosexuals or homosexuals (or others). Now by levelling down the marrital institution, Im denying everyone the right to have the choice to get married or civil unioned. By fighting for same-sex marrital rights, I'm fighting to give everyone the choice, while at the same time making it clear that marriage shouldn't be enforced or pressured, but an independant personal choice.
Post a Comment